Hello all! Harvest here. It's good to see you again!
I have been reading a book lately and it has me thinking (which isn't always a good thing so bear with me.) I read a lot of books but this one was recommended by one of the sites that I like to frequent about submissive information. The website that I am referring to is called Submissive Guide. I am a member of the journal prompts that they have there, and that is why I have so many things on SJP (submissive journal prompts) that go along with it. You can find Submissive Guide at http://www.submissiveguide.com I really suggest looking into it for new submissives or ones trying to expand their knowledge.
So I have been going around and asking various submissives/slaves/submissive switches/bottoms/etc about what it means when people say that Submission is a gift. I have seen two meanings: 1- Submission is a gift/talent that a person can have. (and) 2- Submission is a gift to be given to a dominant/top/etc. We got into some seriously deep conversations about what each of these things meant and if it were true about dominant traits being given like a gift.
A lot of submissives ask themselves "Is my submission a gift? Is it natural for me to be this way?" I think the answer for this is yes AND no. I haven't really polled that many submissives but in a way we are all gifted with the ability to be submissive; we are drawn to it, as our dominants are drawn to dominancy. And I would also say no because there are some of us who want to LEARN to be submissive. That it is not the natural way that that person has known their whole life. I think maybe this would apply to switches switching back and forth with each other much rather than someone who is purely submissive or someone who is purely dominant. I don't know much about switches, but I am learning so bear with me on this. I have to wonder if they are not just doubly gifted.
Now, the second part of this equation is that submission is a gift to be given to a D-type (dominant type, usually capitalized to show power in places). The s-type (submissive type, usually not capitalized to show the subservience in various places) will give the mind, body, and soul to the D-type. There are times when not everything is given. Some s-types will serve purely with their body, where there are some who submit or "gift" purely mentally or with their soul. There are also times when these things can be mixed up and given together or in pairs/etc. This theory was brought to my attention by one of my good friends in the lifestyle, a switch who bottoms quite a bit. She knows from both ends of the spectrum what it is like to "give the gift," not just of Submission, but of Dominance.
It was said in our conversation that a similar act could be said of dominance. Dominance can be given as a gift. It can be given mind, body, and soul, just like submission. This is important to think about because we are equal, not matter how the pairing works. Submissives gift dominants submission and dominants gift submissives dominance. It is an equivalant exchange.
I am not sure how this would work in a poly family's dynamic. I will have to do some more research on that to have a better understanding. From what I have seen there is usually a core pair but I don't really know so I can't say. Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
You will find that a large group of submissives views submission as a gift. It is often argued about in various forums because it does not seem fair for it to be considered a gift. With a gift, you have to give it to someone you trust. Would you give something to someone who you didn't even know or know something about? To give a gift blindly is a shame, as you never know if they really wanted it in the first place or not. Someone would not know how to properly handle your gift, so this is yet another example as to why the gift of submission should be given to the right person(s).
I am not always the best at being submissive, and I will say that freely. I am always looking to improve so that the gifts I do have to give are better each time. Right now I am learning how to keep after my messes so that I don't leave art supplies everywhere so that my Owner might trip on them (It's a really bad habit. I leave everything I need in one spot and collect it there until it just piles up and it's just really bad).
So, as a bit of homework, I want you all to go over your submissive (or dominant) nature. I want you to see if you feel that it is a gift for you to give and if you are giving it properly to the proper person or if you have the proper person in mind. You should evaluate the fact that you have a gift or a talent for submission (or dominance). If you don't feel sure, do not fret. There is much to be read and talked about.
If you feel like I should go over something a little more thoroughly in another article or something, feel free to shoot me a comment or an email and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I want everyone to be educated!
And don't forget to check out Submissive Guide or their partner site, Dominant Guide!