Monday, February 29, 2016

TMI Tuesday-- A Look Inside The Insanity

1. Tell us your top 3 flaws and shortcomings.
I suppose my top three flaws are my mental handicaps. Mostly my misophonia. I can't deal with people like a regular person because of it. I'm usually mentally slow because of my medication. And then there is the fact that I forget everything most of the time and/or block things out from my memory so much that I have holes where days are supposed to be. Blogging has helped me immensely in seeing what sort of things I have been doing each week. TMI Tuesday is really great about this. That's one of the reasons I participate in it.
2. Who do you look up to the most:
– Professionally? I don't really know. I tend to look up to other bloggers who are successful. I get insanely green about seeing blogs better than mine. I just want a nice blog, people. I want comments and fun. That's not such a bad thing.
– Sexually? I don't look up to anyone for this. Seriously. I wouldn't know what I'd be looking up to that person for.
3. How do you like to be comforted when you’re sad or upset?
I like to sleep. Seriously. I sleep to forget my day. Especially if I'm mad. If I'm mad, I don't want to deal with people so I sleep. I've done this all my life and because of this, I instantly get tired if I get sad/upset/mad/etc. It's kind of weirdly ingrained.
a. Give me a hug or acknowledge my situation and sit quietly with me.-- Sometimes I do this.
b. Talk through the situation give me advice or say uplifting things. --- This rarely happens.
c. Leave me alone, let me sulk and wallow in misery.-- Yeah that happens more often than not.
d. Work out, be active to distract myself and up the endorphin and dopamine.-- Not really.
4. Which parent do you identify with the most?
Unfortunately, my father. He and I are freakishly similar. Save for some facts about him. I am usually happier to be around people than he is, though.
Bonus: If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why?
Sewing!!!! I love to sew and it's a good way to spend your time. Creating things is so fun. I love to design things from the ground up. You know, draw it out, pattern it, fit it, cut it, stitch it, wear it. All that good stuff.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Collars for Kitties

Hi guys. Harvest here! I'm here to talk about collars.

Collars are important in the BDSM lifestyle AND in kitten play. You can wear a collar if you want to, you can wear a collar if your Owner/Top/Etc wants you to, and you don't have to wear a collar if you don't want to, or even if your Owner/Top/Etc doesn't want you to you don't have to. There are many variables. Collars are for everyone. There is not set rule that you have to do a certain thing to wear a collar, though it is said that a collar with a lock on it is said to be a way to indicate that you are owned and in a permanent BDSM relationship. This is not always true though.

I wear day collars. I have not quite earned the right to wear a permanent collar. I have considered it, but I just don't know how to bring it up to the Batdaddy. He is always very busy and I don't really have the time to really bring it up with him either since we are both kind of doing our own thing. I might bring it up with him in a while, maybe today. We like to talk in the car. I'm not sure why but we always seem to get more talking done in the car than anywhere else.
So what do you need to know about collars? There are many different things to know about collars!

Day collars are a very passive sort of collar. These are ones you can wear throughout the day and not have someone ask too many questions about. I wear nylon collars with ribbons on them as a day collar but there are many kittens/subs/bottoms/etc who would not wear such a thing throughout the day. A lot of s-types will wear chainmail, necklaces, or even just delicate metal collars to work as a day collar. Ribbon collars are very nice to wear as well. They are not as tough as a nylon collar, so you can't get yanked around by it if that's what you're into. It will be too delicate.

Consideration collars are a step towards a full collaring in a BDSM relationship. A consideration collar shows that you are under consideration (obviously) by a D-type in a BDSM relationship or relationship in some fashion. These are important, but are not necessary. If you choose, you can just keep wearing a day collar or you could even wear a permanent collar.

A permanent collar is one that is given to you (or bought for you, made for you, etc. as long as it is for you) that shows you are Owned or are an "official" s-type in a BDSM relationship with someone. This collar is an honor to wear. Probably the highest honor you can get in a BDSM relationship. These are not given to a s-type just frivolously. They are given when the D-type knows that you are theirs forever.

You can be de-collared. It is similar to a divorce. You should not be ashamed of being de-collared. It isn't the worst thing in the world, even if it feels like it. These things are difficult to decide upon and should not be a spur of the moment thing.

Everyone can wear a collar. But the meaning is intwined with what you, as a s-type, and your Owner, or whatever D-type you have, make it. Even if you don't have a D-type, you are free to wear a collar. You can do whatever you want. The meaning is up to you. My collar is a symbol of love of my Owner. He knows this and I know this.

You are you. Be proud of your collar. Be proud of what it means to you. Life is grand. Never be ashamed of who you are or what you do.

Meow!
-Harvest Hellion

Monday, February 22, 2016

TMI Tuesday-- Trust, Excitement, Sex, Marraige!

1. How many people do you really trust?
Not very many. I keep having people be complete dicks to me about everything. I can't say I could really count either. I do know that Batdaddy is someone that I trust. He is always there for me.
2. What are you excited for?
 I'm sort of excited for some of the conventions that are coming up. I'm a huge nerd and love to cosplay. We are going to a convention in June and I will (hopefully) finish my Princess Kakyuu (from Sailor Moon) cosplay in time for that.
3. Have you had sex today?
Ha! No. I haven't had sex in a while and my parts refuse to let me have sex. I wouldn't make a good sex slave for sure because it's pretty much impossible to have sex with me. I've got some doctor appointments lined up to see if that can be fixed.
4. When was the last time you talked to someone until you fell asleep? What relation are they to you?
Last night I suppose. I was talking to Batdaddy and He was getting really irritated that I wasn't sleeping because it was about four in the morning. We were at a party last night but I couldn't sleep. That happens to me a lot. I take medication to put me to sleep; enough to knock out a bull moose.
5. What is your opinion on sex before marriage?
Oh, I don't mind it at all. I have never been married before and I have had sex. So it would be safe to assume that I really don't care. I think it's stupid because you never know if you're "compatible" with the other person, and there are times in the relationship when sex is a good stress relief. If you don't know if you are compatible, then what's the point. I dunno. It just doesn't sound like it's a good idea to me.
Bonus: Does your present lover know any of your past lovers? How well?
Batdaddy knew my previous boyfriend. I know a couple of His. I'm actually friends with one of His past lovers, but she and I are going through a bit of a rough patch for reasons which I choose not to disclose in a blog (that would be in poor taste). I'm unsure what to think about that right now.

Friday, February 19, 2016

SJP---- Burnout and Depression

http://prompts.submissiveguide.com/412

Hi everyone! Harvest again. Today's Submissive Journal Prompt (SJP) is:

"Do you ever experience burnout? How do you handle it? Do you take measures to avoid it?"

I DO experience burnout. There are times when I can't really feel like I function properly. I have mental issues which cause me problems on top of this. I think they kind of compound the burnout in a way. Depression can become quite the problem if you don't take care of it as soon as you can. It runs in my family so I am used to the effects it can have on people.

As a teenager, I told myself if I made it to the age of 25 I would be happy. I was, at the time, very suicidal. I hated everything about my life. I felt like my friends would leave me at the drop of a hat. My boyfriends were never "really there" for me when I thought they should be (even though they actually were! I just didn't realize it at the time). I had done so many things to injure myself or try to kill myself or even just get attention. I wanted attention. Positive attention. I felt like I could never have enough. When I met my current boyfriend (and now Owner) I was 21. I didn't really have my life together and I drank a lot. I was a mess. He finally encouraged me to get help; something I advise to everyone who feels the way I did.

I hit 25 years old. It was the most magical day of my life. I felt like I was on top of the world. With new medication to regulate my moods, good friends, and a very supportive boyfriend (Owner!), I FINALLY had (HAVE!) things under control.

Finding help can be hard to do. And it can be hard to really admit you have a problem. You may not see it like everyone else. But everyone else may not even let you know you have that problem. They will play it off and pretend nothing is wrong and just talk behind your back. This is not always true.

But...

I will help you get some information on depression. You can read the articles and compare them and see if you have any of the symptoms or if you need to find a place for help. I am not a trained therapist or doctor and should not be used as one. But I can give you these links for you to continue your path with hope and encouragement to seek the help that you need and deserve.

Here is a site that talks about various treatments:
 http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/help-for-depression

WebMD (the usual doom and gloom place) has an article worth note:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depresssion-support

Here is an article from the Mayo Clinic, which is a good read:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977

I have not used this website before but for grief it might help:
http://www.griefshare.org/

*DAILY STRENGTH!* A website with support groups for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g (I use it, too!):
http://www.dailystrength.org/


Hopefully this will help you along your path. Don't let depression get to you! Every life is important!
-Harvest Hellion

Thursday, February 18, 2016

SJP---- Topping?

SJP----Topping?

http://prompts.submissiveguide.com/709


Hi everyone! It's time for another Submissive Journal Prompt!!! Today's prompt is:
"Have you ever been asked by your Owner to switch and play the top with another submissive?"

I have not!!! My Owner doesn't really feel like it's okay for me to really Top someone, unless it's a non-sexual kind of relationship. I have topped before. I topped a babygirl. The experience was kind of brutal and put me under a lot of stress. She was very cruel to me and actually mocked me at every chance she could. I'm not sure if she was trying to brat or what, but we clashed so much. I was happy just being her friend.

Since then, we don't speak. We've unfriended on fetlife and such. I see she is going to events and I do my best to avoid her. It's very rare we run into each other, so it's not really a big deal. We run in relatively separate circles. We'll wave and smile at each other if we see each other, but that's pretty much the extent.
I would like the chance to Top again. Maybe. I don't have a problem with it, especially if it was something that kind of filled the hole in my heart. I'm not sure why I have one. I suppose maybe all people get one at some point in their life. If you do, there are ways to fill it in a responsible manner.

Batdaddy and I have a very committed relationship and I would not want to jeapordize that. We love each other way too much. I don't know what I would do if something happened. Maybe He'll let me Top another babygirl later on, but right now.... We're just perfect.

So, what do you think? If you are a submissive, would you want to Top? If you are a Dominant, would you let your submissive Top? How about you switches, are you in a good enough relationship to let the other Top?

Just wondering.

-Harvest Hellion

Monday, February 15, 2016

TMI Tuesdays-- 2-16-16

1. In winter does your sexual appetite go on a fast?
I don't really have much of a sexual appetite to begin with. There are few things that turn me on, so people really have to work hard on it to get me started.
2. What do you do to kick-start your libido when in a sexual slump?
I can turn my libido on and off. I choose either to be turned on or no. I'm not sure if there are other people out there who are like me in that. If there are, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to shoot me a comment or a message!
3. What is your favorite type of foreplay (to receive)?
Biting. I LOVE biting.
4. Mutual masturbation–yes or no? What is your technique?
Hmm. I approve, but I've never done it, personally. Maybe Batdaddy and I should try it. X3
5. Do you give your lover massage? How often? How long?
Of course! I give him a massage any time he wants one. Sometimes I give him massages when he isn't expecting it to show him how much I appreciate him. They don't usually last very long because I have a thing with texture on my hands. If it's skin-on-skin then I can do it for longer than I can with skin-on-fabric
6. Do you give or receive more massage?
 I give more massages than I receive. I prefer it that way. If I NEED one, then I ask. If I'm good, I receive.


Bonus: If a clone was made of you, would you have sex with it? What would you do first?
That's a good question. I think I probably would. I know what I like so it would be cool to get exactly what I want. At least I hope it knows what I know. Although this would probably end not in sex but in the two of us eating pizza together while we watch horror movies all day.

Have a great Tuesday everyone!
-Harvest Hellion

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Happy Anniversary, BatDaddy!

Happy Seventh Year Anniversary to my BatDaddy!!! May we have many exciting years to come, and a love to last several lifetimes.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone else. Sorry it's so late in the day that I"m saying it.

Friday, February 12, 2016

A Gift From Me To You

Hello all! Harvest here. It's good to see you again!

I have been reading a book lately and it has me thinking (which isn't always a good thing so bear with me.) I read a lot of books but this one was recommended by one of the sites that I like to frequent about submissive information. The website that I am referring to is called Submissive Guide. I am a member of the journal prompts that they have there, and that is why I have so many things on SJP (submissive journal prompts) that go along with it. You can find Submissive Guide at http://www.submissiveguide.com I really suggest looking into it for new submissives or ones trying to expand their knowledge.

So I have been going around and asking various submissives/slaves/submissive switches/bottoms/etc about what it means when people say that Submission is a gift. I have seen two meanings: 1- Submission is a gift/talent that a person can have. (and) 2- Submission is a gift to be given to a dominant/top/etc. We got into some seriously deep conversations about what each of these things meant and if it were true about dominant traits being given like a gift.

A lot of submissives ask themselves "Is my submission a gift? Is it natural for me to be this way?" I think the answer for this is yes AND no. I haven't really polled that many submissives but in a way we are all gifted with the ability to be submissive; we are drawn to it, as our dominants are drawn to dominancy. And I would also say no because there are some of us who want to LEARN to be submissive. That it is not the natural way that that person has known their whole life. I think maybe this would apply to switches switching back and forth with each other much rather than someone who is purely submissive or someone who is purely dominant. I don't know much about switches, but I am learning so bear with me on this. I have to wonder if they are not just doubly gifted.

Now, the second part of this equation is that submission is a gift to be given to a D-type (dominant type, usually capitalized to show power in places). The s-type (submissive type, usually not capitalized to show the subservience in various places) will give the mind, body, and soul to the D-type. There are times when not everything is given. Some s-types will serve purely with their body, where there are some who submit or "gift" purely mentally or with their soul. There are also times when these things can be mixed up and given together or in pairs/etc. This theory was brought to my attention by one of my good friends in the lifestyle, a switch who bottoms quite a bit. She knows from both ends of the spectrum what it is like to "give the gift," not just of Submission, but of Dominance.

It was said in our conversation that a similar act could be said of dominance. Dominance can be given as a gift. It can be given mind, body, and soul, just like submission. This is important to think about because we are equal, not matter how the pairing works. Submissives gift dominants submission and dominants gift submissives dominance. It is an equivalant exchange.

I am not sure how this would work in a poly family's dynamic. I will have to do some more research on that to have a better understanding. From what I have seen there is usually a core pair but I don't really know so I can't say. Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

You will find that a large group of submissives views submission as a gift. It is often argued about in various forums because it does not seem fair for it to be considered a gift. With a gift, you have to give it to someone you trust. Would you give something to someone who you didn't even know or know something about? To give a gift blindly is a shame, as you never know if they really wanted it in the first place or not. Someone would not know how to properly handle your gift, so this is yet another example as to why the gift of submission should be given to the right person(s).

I am not always the best at being submissive, and I will say that freely. I am always looking to improve so that the gifts I do have to give are better each time. Right now I am learning how to keep after my messes so that I don't leave art supplies everywhere so that my Owner might trip on them (It's a really bad habit. I leave everything I need in one spot and collect it there until it just piles up and it's just really bad).

So, as a bit of homework, I want you all to go over your submissive (or dominant) nature. I want you to see if you feel that it is a gift for you to give and if you are giving it properly to the proper person or if you have the proper person in mind. You should evaluate the fact that you have a gift or a talent for submission (or dominance). If you don't feel sure, do not fret. There is much to be read and talked about.

If you feel like I should go over something a little more thoroughly in another article or something, feel free to shoot me a comment or an email and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I want everyone to be educated!

And don't forget to check out Submissive Guide or their partner site, Dominant Guide!
-Harvest Hellion

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

TMI Tuesday- Valentine's Day!!!

1. List 3 benefits of living with your significant other.
-Having someone to hand you toilet paper when you're out
-Having someone to cook if you don't feel like it
-Having someone to tuck you in at night (or look for aliens, if you're paranoid like I am)

2. Have you ever reunited with a past lover and begun a relationship? Was the latest relationship as friends or lovers?
I tried to rekindle a relationship and the guy gave me a flower for valentine's day, that he got from a girl. The relationship I'm in now started as friends and just kind of blossomed. It's perfect.
3. Do you think someone is more sexy if they regularly read books or work out regularly at a gym?
I think it's more sexy to read books. You can work out if you want to (I don't always work out, so why should you?) but it's not necessary.
4. How likely do you think it is that your marriage will end in divorce?
I'm not married but we're too stubborn to divorce. We both love each other to the moon and back so it's not that big of a deal.
5. Who has more power in your love or romantic relationship–you or your partner?
Oh, he does. Definitely. But I like it that way. I'd say that sometimes I have power, but it's not all the time. It's mostly on him. I prefer it that way.
Bonus: Describe the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had.
The best valentine's day I've had is when Bat-Daddy and I first were about to get together. We went and saw Friday the 13th together in the theatre and it was so romantic. Nothing says lovin' like serial killers. At least for our twisted little brains.

Share your TMI with me! What's your best Valentine's Day memory?
-Harvest Hellion

Monday, February 8, 2016

SJP-- Domestics



SJP—Domestics!


Hello all! It’s time for another journal prompt! Today’s journal prompt is:
“Do you enjoy domestic chores? Which ones do you like more than others?”

So, to answer the question, yes I do enjoy domestic chores, at least to a degree. I have a hard time loading laundry into and out of the machines, but I like to fold the laundry. Especially when it’s warm and I can snuggle up in it. It takes me several trips to get laundry from one room to the other, depending on how large of a load the laundry is. I try to do laundry pretty frequently to keep up with the demand (and don’t you know it’s always in demand!?).

Dishes are one of those things that I have to do by hand. I have never really had dishwashers, and even when I have had the pleasure of having a dishwasher I still washed a lot of the dishes by hand. There are just some things that you have to do on your own. You know, to cut the ick and all that. I really like using bleach with my dishwashing, but I wear dark clothes most of the time, so I have to change clothes just to do the dishes. I do the dishes when I go to other people’s houses, too. I don’t know why. I just start working on them and then I clean up the mess. Just a bad habit.

Let me think. There are many chores around the house to do. I mop sometimes, and there’s always cleaning the toilet. Those things get so dirty. I don’t even want to think about that one, it’s the worst. Cleaning the toilet is definitely not one of my favorite chores. I think I actually hate that one.

Cleaning out the computers is a good monthly chore, though we have to do them biweekly sometimes because we have two cats that shed all the time (anise is very fluffy and cotton puff is just a puff ball). We use isopropyl alcohol on cotton swabs to get in between some of the tight cracks in the computer and clean them in a detailed manner. It pays to at least use canned air on the computer. I have even taken apart keyboards to get food crumbs out of them because both Owner and myself eat at our computers (a bad habit, I know, but when you do most of your work at the computer it kind of becomes a hard habit to break).

Dusting is something that I do not like to do. I am actually allergic to dust and have to use an inhaler to be safe anywhere around dust. I do like to use the dust mitts that gather the dust and hold it that I can wash off instead of the kind that just wipes the dust off into the air and just kind of scoots it around. I also use magic eraser pads to get the tough grime up. Those are cool because they kind of disappear as you use them.

Washing windows is a chore that is also difficult to do with a bad back like mine. I find that I can wash windows that are at my level but have to do the windows at lower levels by sitting in a chair or something. I also have to get the higher level windows by using a stepstool or ladder. But I think these are typical of most people.

Something that I have found that helps in my cleaning the house and whatnot, is a list. I make a list of everything that needs to get done and I check things off as I go. This doesn’t have to be anything that is very in depth. In fact, you can just write vague things down and as long as you know what those vague things are, you can do them. “Do delicate laundry,” can easily be replaced with “do laundry.” At least with the second option you aren’t particularly restricted. Now there are some times when you want a very strict list and that is if something is going on and you need to be sure that you get those certain things done.

Today is a vague day for me on my cleaning list. I just need to pick up the bedroom area and make sure that it is able to be walked through. Our bedroom is basically our living area as well due to our living conditions, so it is important for me to keep this cleaned and spotless.

Another thing that has helped me keep our home cleaned is Flylady. You can find her helpful website http://www.flylady.net/. It has a bunch of different things you can do each day that will help you feel like you are (and actually) accomplish more things each day. I think that the thing that has helped me most about it is to actually get up and get dressed and prepared for the day. If I don’t do this I tend to have a really sluggish and slow day, so I try to get dressed to attack the day.

What are some of the things that you like to do to help clean your home? Do you do domestic service for your Top/Dominant/etc.? Are you required to do anything each day?

I’ll see you tomorrow for TMI Tuesday!
-Harvest Hellion

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Love Gloves For V Day!



Hello all. Harvest here!

So, since everyone’s been hopping on the condom train for Valentine’s Day, I figured I’d make a post about some safer sex practices that I have done some research on, mostly about condoms. It’s not something that’s over the board popular, some guys I’ve been with say that they can’t feel anything through them, but I have to wonder how true that is, since they can be extremely thin and sensual.

As a disclaimer, I am not a doctor, therefore one should always consult with a doctor before engaging in sexual activity/etc. 

As far as safety goes, condoms are the way to go. There are many different kinds with various traits that you can get. For example there are ones with different lubricants in them like warming or cooling lubrication, ribbed condoms, thinner condoms, condoms made of different materials (in case you are allergic to one type of condom there are a few others that you can use), and condoms of varying sizes! It’s a great thing to invest it. What’s really great is that they are very inexpensive and easy to get your hands on (pun sort of intended, ha ha).

If you can’t afford condoms, there are places that give you condoms for free (although some still cost a little bit, I’m not sure). I go to my local health department to get my birth control and they give me condoms each time to help with safer sex practices. Birth control is a very helpful way to not get pregnancies, but it does not protect you from sexually transmitted illnesses, unlike condoms, which, if used correctly and consistently, will protect you from such things approximately 92% of the time. Something to know about birth control that is not talked about all the time is that other medication can affect the birth control’s effectiveness. Things like antibiotics especially will reduce the effectiveness of birth control. With birth control, this does not include illnesses that are spread by skin-on-skin contact, but if used about 25% of the time will reduce the illness 92% of the time as well. (Information gathered from: http://www.factsaboutcondoms.com)

http://www.Factsaboutcondoms.com is a very helpful website, put together by a company that is funded by the Trojan condom making company (one I use personally, because they are my personal favorite).
Something that I saw was mentioned on that website was that some people thought that condoms have holes in them. I did not know people thought that. It’s kind of interesting to learn about.

One thing that I believe in is that people should be taught about safe sex at a young age. Not too young, but still very young. I believe this because people are learning about sex from the television and the internet and are coming up with questions. They need answers and they need protection. Condoms and proper education are the answer to that question. I’m sure there are people out there who disagree with me, but my mother taught my brother and I at a young age what we should know. My father did not agree, especially when my mother came home with a large paper shopping bag full of random condoms from Planned Parenthood (I’m not sure if they still give out condoms, so you’d have to check your local one for that). Planned Parenthood is a great resource, as are your local health department (as previously mentioned).

In summary, use the internet for all the information you can get out of it and do your research on safer sex. Condoms are a great tool for everyone (at least if you’re having sex, though I have seen someone design a dress made completely out of condoms before. It was a really interesting piece).

Just use your heads, folks.
-Harvest Hellion

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

I'm baaa--aa-aaack



Hey everyone! Harvest here.

It’s been so long, but I am back. I can’t wait to post about stuff again. I’m going to be working on some projects this year and can’t wait for you guys to hear about what I can talk about them. I’m still unsure if I can, but I will share other stuff either way. So it will be stuff that I’m allowed to post at least.

My Owner and I are still going strong. We both work now and we are as close as ever. There are still times where we have confusion going on, but for the most part we are great. We are still living with His family, so things are difficult to do around here, but we do what we can and how we can.

I want to write some more about pet play, and will be doing so when I can, so expect it!!! I will also be writing more about gender issues and mental health issues from my perspective as a genderfluid with various mental illnesses (It’s too many to count, seriously. Ha ha).

So be prepared for a year of new adventures and all kinds of fun. I’m glad to be rekindling this fire!

Meow!!!
-Harvest Hellion