Monday, December 9, 2013

Alone Time + Trust



Hey guys!

So I was reading a blog post on one of the blogs and pages that I follow and I became inspired to write this post. You see, my Owner and I don’t get a lot of alone time because of our living conditions and I wanted to write a little bit about that. We live in a small room and are basically stuck in said room with each other 24/7. I don’t drive, so when I want to go somewhere, he has to take me. He doesn’t mind most of the time, but there are days when he just wants a break.

Sometimes I let him have these breaks. I go to my clubs and meetings and things with a friend or my mother. I leave him alone at home and he gets to have “man time.” He enjoys these moments and I feel they are vital for our sanity.

Unfortunately, I have a tendency to be really clingy, and I’m working on that. This is the main message I want to get across: When your Top feels the need to go out on their own or you are separated for some period of time, your relationship should have a deep trust that they won’t do something to jeopardize your relationship.
Now don’t get me wrong, in the beginning these things got under my skin just like anyone else. But after five years of being with my Top, I know that we are monogamous and that he would never leave me for someone who is “better.” I am perfect in my own way in his eyes and I bask in that glow. He loves me over all and will not leave me.

When you are in a relationship with a Top, you need to know your parameters and have trust in them. Without communication, parameters, and trust a relationship will rarely work in my opinion (Please note this is my opinion and I am not a professional by any means. Just a really lucky kitty with a really lucky Owner).

My Owner talks a bit with some of his exes, but I know, after five years, that he won’t do anything to harm me. We’ve talked a lot and I have explained my concerns to him. Sometimes he thinks I’m a jealous hag, but most of the time I’m good. There’s a good reason we’re not poly. He has the same feelings though. When I asked him about it, he said he wasn’t comfortable with me talking to my exes and some of the random guys I talk to online. But after a while he’s come to know them and understand that I just like talking to people.

We may both have issues, but we trust each other, because deep down we respect each other and ourselves. We know to talk to one another if something is bothering the piss out of one of us. You can’t fix something if you don’t say anything.

The moral of this story is communication, because without communication you can’t have any trust. I don’t know how much more I can stress this.

Anyway, that’s just a little rant.
-harvest